Transitions

I’m sure everyone has one day thought about how over-protective their parents can be, limitations imposed to their freedom, their right to choose in terms of partners, etc. And then we all go on about choosing for ourselves and living our lives our way rants. I mean there is the most common example of parents not liking the better half, so let’s take the scenario from an American pie-ish movie. Daughter going out with the most popular kid in school, who also turns out to be a total dick and just wants to get in her pants, but on the way there, there is love and emotion involved. Then the parents get involved and try to break it up and blah blah, the daughter says it’s her life her choice blah blah. But the parents break them up anyway and the guy kicks in his locker and the girl says the usual “I hate you” to her parents and holds up in her room. Watching this we think damn she should be allowed to do what she wants to do. Sometime after that we come across the same thing happening to one of our friends or even to us maybe and we just think that our parents are being unfair.

Of course I’m looking at this from the angle of a teenager, if you are around 30 or above and your parents still call the shots for you then it’s either you have a low IQ or you have control issues or your parents are freaks. Now coming back to the teenage point of view, natural I guess to think at this point that we have the know-how and prudence to make all our decisions, but the fact is that we don’t. Sometimes in the latter teen years we may assume we are adults, when we are past the break-ups and heartbreak from early attempts at a thing we thought was love, when the fluctuation of our hormones has subsided, when we think we are past the days when ‘one tree hill’ was the guide to a relationship, we still aren’t ready I guess. Coming back to the point, sometimes there are something’s that require time to teach you. Years later we realize how right our parents were, or years later you realize you should have listened to your mother when she said “that bitch is going to be nothing but trouble”.

I do argue with my mum sometimes but it’s a few years after I realize why and how she was right about something. Even I wouldn’t allow myself to do the things I did a few years ago and if I had a daughter going out with a douche, I’d break them up. But the question is how do you decide when you are crossing the boundary of protective parent to paranoid control freak, because at the end of the day, how do you decide on going with what you stood for or making a better adult decision on behalf of your kid.

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