Never thought about writing something like this till recent. In fact, never thought about coming out about this openly. But having recently met a few people who haven’t yet had the epiphany, that realisation that time won’t fix a broken mind, at least not until it’s broken all else around; I’m compelled to put pen to paper, or rather, fingers to key.
Also. WordPress really needs to introduce a ‘Justify’ option for text.
And, no, I’m no humanitarian, nor am I interested in giving people a first-hand explanation of what depression is and what the symptoms are. I’m writing this so that people will take the illness it is more seriously and do something about it. I know all too well that pride stops people from acting towards cure but an illness of this nature is as taxing on the plagued as it is on the people who support them and give a hoot about their existence – I wouldn’t be alive today, if it wasn’t for that one person who knew, who stood by, who suffered, who saw the life slowly draining away from the person she loves, and still probably does. Even I can’t write enough to express my gratitude for her patience and perseverance in helping me deal with the sickness.
And boohoo if you don’t have that person; at least do it for the woman who brought you into the world, without flushing yo ass out with a morning after pill. This also not for the people who have a blog to put up posts with those dark pictures and shit on the internet with their dreary supposed poetry on how they’re in a bad mood.
Depression isn’t a mood swing. It is a sickness of the mind. It gets manic. It eats away at your peace, your sanity, your body. But worst of all – it eats away at your relationship(s) with the person/people closest to you. I don’t speak for everyone who’s had it. I’m no doctor. Just a guy who has had it for almost a decade. I thought it was just a mood swing. In the latest few years, I thought I was just too sober, but it escalated. It came to the point where in just one week I had 40 self-inflicted cuts on my arms, almost jumped out of a moving vehicle (unconsciously, without much thought), had seizures and mind-fucking headaches. It was just my girlfriend’s constant struggle with it and thought of my mum’s life after me, that kept me from going over the edge, till one I realised that I wasn’t going to give in; that I couldn’t give in, that for some weird reason, there were people who needed me.
So I took that step that many before haven’t been fortunate enough to take – Valar Morghulis. It didn’t take much courage to take that step. I’m just lucky to have had something I was afraid of losing. I know shit like Desperate Housewives and all that other muck you see on TV makes therapy seem like sitting on a long couch and talking about your feeling to a person who’s paid to give a fuck about how your day went; but it isn’t. What you need to tell yourself is that you are sick and need to see a doctor. Once you accept the sickness and the need for treatment – your life will change.
It will change. Your perspective on life will change. I’m no going to talk about my recovery etc., this is not a testimonial at a Baptist Church or on Oprah. The purpose of this is post was just to provoke enough thought in those who have the sickness, so that they/you may take hard first step towards fixing yourself. If you know someone who has the sickness, convince them to take it more seriously. E-channeling is the best way to get a hold of someone who can help. An appointment is between 1800 an 2500 (Depending on who you go with) excluding medicine.
I know self-pity can get in the way, but if you can read this on your own device, you’ve had and have a better life than the close to four million starving people in Sri Lanka. So go do something about yourself and then something for these actually unfortunate people.